See these before? Well, if you have my deepest sympathies. If you haven't, you're in for a treat! On the left we have the Open Heart pendant from Kay Jewelers and on the right we have hand-wrapped boxes from Jared. Both Kay Jewelers and Jared have made multiple commercials depicting their glorious jewelry. Now, take a look and see what these fine jewelers have to offer!
Isn't that idyllic? Not to mention a little creepy, these commercials are heartwarming, charming, entertaining, and utterly DETESTABLE. These commercials are so indescribably horrible that words alone cannot convey the feeling I receive from these commercials. Okay, that's kind of a stretch, but still, these commercials are BAD. The first one has a GPS system that traps the man inside the car just to have the jewelry from Jared. Did anyone else after watching this immediately turn to look at their car in fear? I know I did. Is that what you wish, people from Jared? You wish to instill fear into the lives of your potential costumers? Is it even possible for a GPS system to do such a thing? If so, how does one disable a GPS system to avoid this situation?
In the Jared commercial, there are the need for prominence and the need to feel safe. The prominence is shown by the glistening jewelry that the freakazoid-GPS devilishly desires and the safety issue is the demonic satalite that captures the owner in his car. There could be the technique of plain folks because the man is plain-looking, has a plain-car and a plain-yet-psychotic-built-in-GPS, however this is juxtaposed with the technique of snob appeal because of the dazzling jewelry he just purchased (the juxtaposition could be seen as a transfer/association technique). There is also Wit and Humor, because of the GPS system coming to life and locking the man in the car and simple solutions, because the GPS was psychotically mad at the man until he gave her the jewelry from Jareds, proposing the idea that only Jareds' diamonds can calm down psychotic robots.
In the Kay Jewelers commerical, British actress Jane Seymour is shown drawing illustrous, red hearts on a pale yellow canvas in a warm, cozy yet spacious room that form the design for her Open Hearts Collection at Kay Jewelers. Once again there is the need for prominence, because, well, it is a jewelry commerical after all and that is the definition of a need for prominence. Techniques used were testimonial, because it was Jane Seymour, snob appeal probably based upon the stereotype of Britsh people being of a high class and having expensive taste, and gestalt because of the color scheme and the music used in the commercial to lighten the mood and make it very soft.
Now that all the boring, smart-sounding crap is out of the way (no offense to anyone who liked the smartitude of the previous two paragraphs...please don't mark me down for calling it crap...) we can move on to the fun stuff. So basically what Jared is trying to tell us, the dumb audience, is that their jewelry can keep psychotic robots, girlfriends, mistresses, wifes, ex-wifes, mother-in-laws, mothers, aunts, cousins, sisters, you name it same...only buy purchasing one of their produces at several convinient locations! And Kay Jewelers, if I hear "every kiss begins with kay" one more freaking time, they will have to have change their slogan to "every cry begins with pain". (Just kidding, a little bit too far on that joke, sorry bout it. And dead** audience, just know that I am completely harmless and one hundred percent, not crazy. I repeat:
(**dear, that was a typo, lol)
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