May 12, 2013 Post #6 Screw the Rainbow

No. Stop. Leave right now. Do you realize how many times I've seen a Skittles commercial and ACTUALLY tried to grab the rainbow just to try and taste it? More times than I'd like to admit. And when I've tried, I've always failed and I blame YOU Skittles company! I did what you said and you failed me! What if I stood on a hill, tried to reach for a rainbow during a thunderstorm fell off the cliff, got struck by lightning and then cut by a flying chainsaw and then a cat peed in my wounds and I got stung by a scorpion! That's a lawsuit right there, Skittles! How can you even sleep at night? Shame on you! What if someones less healthy than me did exactly what I did and they didn't survive or worse? They were raped! Could you live with yourself, Skittles company? Do you even care about costumer service? Or do all you care about is a paycheck.

I have so many problems with the picture on the right that I have no idea where to start. What if someone was allergic to Skittles and because they could not eat them, they cut off their own tongue, just because Skittles told them to?! Does that make any sense Skittles company? Do you think that people who dislike Skittles do not deserve to have a functioning muscular mydrostat? Is that what you are saying? You wish harm onto others who dislike Skittles? What kind of misanthropist wrote this ad?

What happens if someone doesn't love the rainbow? Would you cut off their tongue too? Or would you do something entirely worse, Skittles company? And what if someone lost their sense of taste. Are you going to kill them just like you killed the people who don't love Skittles? What kind of monster are you!? You make me sick. What would your mothers say, Skittles company? It is Mother's Day, after all! What would they do if they knew you were tongue-butchering murderers? I think they would be appauled as I am.

In a more serious tone, I believe that Skittles' target market is probably someone with a low IQ, close to the mentally-retarted line. The person has a few bucks lying around the house and likes eating fruit-flavored

Family Guy, Season 4, Episode 6 "Petarded"

candies. The target market would apply to people of all genders (male, female and ostrich) of all ethnicities, personalities, lifestyles (except for those who dislike Skittles, those people's fates are mentioned earlier), attitudes and values. Basically, if you eat Skittles, you are an average person. Congradulations. You've succeeded.

And now to return to the more interesting facts I leave my audience captivated, inspired and possibly having a slight feeling of Vergangenheitsbewältigung. The number one question I have come across in my one second of research and from personal experience is as follows. Does ingesting yellow Skittles kill serpmatozoa in the human male? According to several middle school playgrounds: yes. But according to Wiki-answers: no. And there y'all have it! So feel free boys to eat all kinds of Skittles: yellow, red, and black-with-fuzzy-looking-lint-that-you-found-in-your-pocket we don't discriminate. And girls, don't eat yellow Skittles as a form of protection. It will not work. You get pregnant. And you will regret it. FOREVER. If this applies to you, please visit the following website for further information: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/